title: Sales Skills description: [AFW P.2] Michael's Epiphanies #38 & #42 published: true date: 2026-06-30T08:08:47.473Z tags: editor: markdown dateCreated: 2021-05-12T02:11:44.438Z

Introduction to Sales¶

Watch Sales Tips, Part 1 (2023-07) VIDEO

You Are a Professional Salesperson¶

Visit Epiphany #42 - You're In Sales.

“The investment business is a human enterprise. If you strip business down to its basics, its still about people selling things to other people.”

“Managed money is a totally relationship-oriented sale, not a transaction-oriented sale.” -Nick Murray

“Professional sales is the art of helping people rationalize decisions that are good for them.” -Tom Hopkins

“Manipulation is influencing someone for your benefit without their consent. Educating is influencing someone for their benefit with their consent."

Read Steve Siebold's Secrets of the World Class #122 - Salespeople Drive All Business PDF

Whether you want to admit it or not, or whether this notion appeals to you or not, you are a professional salesperson and you are in the sales/persuasion/influence business.

Sales is helping someone see your point of view and how it can benefit them. In its simplest form, sales is giving people a reason to say "yes".

Realize that all of us are "selling" something. Whether it be products, to friendship, to what movie we're going to see, or where we'll go to dinner. All of us sell, only some people are better at it than others, and they generally enjoy a better quality of life. The truth is, selling is all about persuading another person to see your point of view and how it can benefit them. And our business is nothing more than accurately explaining how to make smart choices about their money.

How to Get Better at Sales¶

1. Believe that professional sales is a learnable skill. t is not magicaly reserved for the select few. It is a competency that is attainable to anyone willing to learn and practice.

2. Sales is basically very good people skills with an added element of persuasion. Thus, first master Friendly & Social Skills. Read the three books recommened on the Wiki page linked to the left.

3. Next, master How to Master the Art of Selling Financial Services, by Tom Hopkins.

4. You really only need the fours books referenced above, but if you really want to excel in sales then read the books in the Sales Shelf of our Goodreads Group.

5. Finally, Practice, Drill & Rehearse. Everytime you interact with another human being try to persuade and influence (not manipulate). When you are in an actual sales situation, try techniques you haven't tried before (or try them "more"). Think of it as practice (it is).

Style: Easy-Going and Non-Threatening¶

Read Nick's ATY 209 July 28 - Variety of Prospect Responses PDF

Though you are persuading and influencing people, you do not want to do it in a way that is 'salesy' or 'pushy'. Your style should be non-threatening and easy-going. Relaxed and confident is the key.

A good way is to think of being a teacher that wants your student to learn - take an educational approach.

What you don't want to do it lie, obfuscate, or manipulate. That is not professional sales, that's con-artistry.

Simplify Complex Ideas¶

Nothing sells like stories, aphorisms, props, analogies, metaphores etc. Master everything described in Making a Complex Subject, Simple.

Explain ideas as though your client is six years old, but don't talk down to them like they're six.

Art (Relationship) vs Science (Technique)¶

Watch Art (Relationship) vs Science (Technique) (2024-06) YOUTUBE VIDEO

Don't "technique" your friends, and don't "glad-hand" strangers.

Sales is part technique (science) and part art (relationship). It is spectrum of how much you use of each.

• Warm Market (friends & family): 90% relationship | 10% technique
• Social Market: 70% relationship | 30% technique
• Referral Market: 30% relationship | 70% technique
• Cold Market: 10% relationship | 90% technique

General-to-Specific¶

Watch General-to-Specific VIDEO

When explaining a concept, or giving an overview of a procedure, always start with a big-picture generalization then slowly go down to specifics.

Nasty Words vs Go-Ahead Words¶

“Few business professionals put much thought into the words they use when speaking with clients. They don’t seem to understand that words have the power to make or break a sale at any stage.” -Tom Hopkins

Watch AF MKOM 1644 - Nasty Words vs Go-Ahead Words VIDEO

Watch Nasty Words vs Go-Ahead Words 1 VIDEO

Watch Nasty Words vs Go-Ahead Words 2 VIDEO

Pay attention to the words you use and how they emotionally affect your prospect. Then, try to replace the "bad" words with the "go-ahead" words. Do this until it becomes a habit. Remember, it's not what you say, but how you say it.

Be Clear, Concise and Eliminate Verbal Noise¶

Watch Eliminate Verbal Noise VIDEO

Read Nick's ATY 204 July 23 - The Beauty and Power of Silence PDF

Read Nick's Around the Year, August 13 - In the Declarative Mode, Less is Much More PDF

Read Nick's article "Silence: The Ultimate Eloquence". It's the second article in NMI 2023-12 PDF

Read Robert Greene's TDL 08-01 - The Hypnotist’s Art PDF

One of the most important communication skills is to eliminate verbal noise when speaking, whether giving a speech, talking on the phone, or having a face-to-face conversation. Verbal noise is when you say um, ah, uh, you know, etc. While your brain is searching for the next words to say, your mouth keeps on going and blurts out meaningless extra syllables.

Verbal noise includes bridge words like and, but, and so. If you say one of these words and hang on it before you actually know what you're going to say next, it's a bridge word.

Another form of verbal noise is the repeated word. You keep repeating your last word until you figure out what to say next, such as and and and...

Verbal noise is distracting in communication. They can make you sound less intelligent and clear. They muddle your message. Verbal noise is simply noise, not communication. You don't need them, and your communication will be more effective once you eliminate it.

The simplest replacement for verbal noise is a silent pause. When your brain stops feeding intelligible words to your mouth, stop talking - it's okay not to say anything! Don't say um, ah, y'know, sooooo, etc. If you're uncomfortable with verbal pauses, this may feel uncomfortable at first, but you eventually get used to it. Remember that you don't have to fill every minute of airtime with noise.

The way to eliminate verbal noise in your communication is two-fold:

• awareness, and
• practice.

First, start becoming aware of verbal noise by listening for them in others' spoken communication. If you watch the news or any non-scripted talk show, listen for verbal noise in the speakers. It's amazing how some people will have very few, and others will have many. You might watch something like The Tonight Show and find that Jay Leno has virtually no verbal noise, while his guests may be afflicted by many ums and ahs.

The next time you speak, even if it's simply in a conversation with coworkers and friends, ask someone to listen for your verbal pauses and to count them. Then at the end of your communication, ask them how you did. You may not even be aware of how this bad habit affects your communication. Once you gain an awareness of where you stand, practice to eliminate verbal pauses. Listen to yourself speak and notice when you blurt out that um, ah, or double-and. Have someone else observe you periodically (even if just to watch you speak in a conversation or on a phone call) to see if you're improving.

With awareness and practice you can eliminate this bad habit and improve the clarity of your, uh, verbal communication.

Non-Verbal Communication¶

Read Nick's ATY 021 January 21 - Non-Verbal PDF

Read Robert Greene's TDL 04-10 - Always Say Less Than Necessary PDF

A few quick tips:

1. Smile!
2. Look them in the eye when speaking and listening.
3. Relax your body and posture. Don't appear to be waiting for a pause in their talk like you're waiting to jump an speak - give them space to express themselves. In fact, pause for a few beats when their done before you start.

Feel, Felt, Found¶

Watch Feel, Felt, Found (2024-06 YOUTUBE VIDEO

Watch AF MKOM 1612: Feel, Felt, Found VIDEO

This is a classic technique used in sales and persuassion. It acknowledges people's concern, demonstrates empathy and provides a positive resolution.

1. Feel: acknowledge how your prospect feels. This shows that you understand their concern. It's about validating the feelings without immediately offering a solution.

2. Felt: share that others (better yet, yourself) have felt the same way. This provides social proof and tells your prospect that their feelings are common.

3. Found: explain what others have found after doing the thing you want them to do. This is where you introduce a positive outcome demonstrating how their initial concerns are addressed and how the benefits outweigh their apprehensions.

Example: trying to set an appointment¶

I completely understand how you feel. Discussing your financial situation with someone new can feel daunting, and it’s normal to question whether it’s the right step for you at this moment. Many of my current clients felt the same way before they decided to work with me. They were concerned about sharing personal financial details and were unsure if they would truly benefit from my counter-cultural investment philosophy.

However, what they found discovered was that having a professional look at their investments helped them identify opportunities they hadn’t seen before, and gave them peace of mind about their retirement.

What NOT To Do¶

Read Nick's ATY 236 August 24 Other Conversation Stoppers PDF

The Sales Process¶

Our sales process is very straight forward - no tricks, short-cuts or gimicks. It consists of 6-Steps: $50k-Income Game-Plan + Follow-Up.

Tom Hopkins¶

Since 1976, Tom Hopkins International has been dedicated to providing the finest sales training strategies and techniques to individuals and companies alike.

• Web site
• YouTube Channel
• Content in Google Drive

His Best Books¶

How to Master the Art of Selling Financial Services by Tom Hopkins BOOK This is based upon he original book that made Tom Hopkins famous, but with a focus on financial services. I believe still the best overall book on professional sales.

Fill Your Funnel: Selling with Social Media by Tom Hopkins BOOK Get step-by-step instructions on using social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, and Twitter to generate qualified leads into your sales funnel.

Sales Prospecting for Dummies by Tom Hopkins BOOK Prospecting - finding and qualifying prospective clients - is the first step in the selling proposition.

Bonus: The Six Principles Of Influence¶

Read Robert Cialdini's article The Science of Persuasion (Scientific American) PDF

Watch Robert Cialdini's video The Power Of Persuasion video

Influence — The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini AUDIO BOOK eBOOK The classic book on persuasion, has sold over three million copies and has been translated into thirty languages. It has been listed on the New York Times Best Seller list and Fortune lists it in their “75 Smartest Business Books”. It has been mentioned in 50 Psychology Classics.

This book explains the psychology of why people say “yes” — and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the expert in the field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this highly acclaimed book.

1: Reciprocity¶

"If you want someone to like you, ask them for a favor."

• This rule states that “…we should try to repay, in kind, what another person has provided us.”

When a friend gives you a favor, somehow, you feel the need to repay that debt, when he asks for a favor in return.

When the Disabled American Veterans organization mails out requests for contributions, the appeal succeeds only about 18 percent of the time. But when the mailing includes a set of free personalized address labels, the success rate almost doubles, to 35 percent. To understand the effect of the unsolicited gift, we must recognize the reach and power of an essential rule of human conduct: the code of reciprocity.

This principle is simple: when someone does something for you, you feel a strong urge to return the favor. This concept has been widely exploited in marketing, as seen in tactics like free samples.

For instance, Amway grew tremendously by giving away free product samples to its potential customers. This strategy taps into the cultural and religious norm of the “golden rule,” creating an obligation for the receiver to reciprocate.

The Hare Krishna Society’s airport flower-giving strategy exemplifies this, where travelers feel compelled to donate after receiving a flower. However, reciprocation can lead to disproportionate exchanges, where a minor initial favor triggers an obligation for a much larger return.

Cialdini also discusses the “rejection-then-retreat” technique, where a high-end product is initially offered and, if refused, a cheaper alternative is presented. This approach often results in a sale due to the perceived concession by the seller, compelling the buyer to reciprocate.

To counter this technique, Cialdini suggests openly acknowledging the tactic and refusing to feel obligated to reciprocate, as this awareness helps resist the powerful influence of reciprocation.

Examples¶

• If someone buys you lunch, you feel obligated to buy them lunch next time.
• At the supermarket, or a warehouse club like Costco, “free” samples encourage the reciprocity rule when they make you buy something you wouldn’t have otherwise.
• For the ladies, if a guy takes you out to an expensive dinner, you feel obligated to go out with him again even though you weren’t that into him.

2: Commitment and Consistency¶

• People who take a decision are likely to stick with it, and defend it, even if it might not make a whole lot of sense to do so.

This principle is about our desire to be (and to appear) consistent with what we have already done. Once we have made a choice or taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment. Those pressures will cause us to respond in ways that justify our earlier decision.

1998 Gordon Sinclair, the owner of a well-known Chicago restaurant, was struggling with a problem that afflicts all restaurateurs. Patrons frequently reserve a table but, without notice, fail to appear. Sinclair solved the problem by asking his receptionist to change two words of what she said to callers requesting reservations. The change dropped his no-call, no-show rate from 30 to 10 percent immediately. The two words were effective because they commissioned the force of another potent human motivation: the desire to be, and to appear, consistent.

The receptionist merely modified her request from “Please call if you have to change your plans” to “Will you please call if you have to change your plans?” At that point, she politely paused and waited for a response. The wait was pivotal because it induced customers to fill the pause with a public commitment. And public commitments, even seemingly minor ones, direct future action.

Consistency describes our tendency to honor our commitments, often to the point of acting against our best interest—a tendency marketers and salespeople exploit.

One example is toy manufacturers who manipulate parents during Christmas by advertising toys, understocking them, and then restocking them post-Christmas, prompting parents to buy twice. This tactic relies on parents wanting to be consistent with their initial promise to their children.

Similarly, sales techniques like the “foot-in-the-door” approach involve making a small sale to build towards a larger one, leveraging the customer’s desire for consistent behavior.

Charity solicitors often use subtle commitments, like getting a person to admit they’re doing well, making it harder for them to refuse a donation request. Similarly, having customers fill out order forms or write down goals increases their commitment and consistency.

In the car industry, the “lowball” tactic is common, where an attractive offer is later increased, relying on the customer’s commitment to the initial agreement. Cialdini advises questioning decisions by asking, “Would I make the same choice now with what I know?”

A question like this encourages making informed decisions rather than blindly following through on initial commitments, thereby using the power of consistency responsibly and to our own advantage.

Examples¶

• You tell everyone you’re running your 1^st marathon in 3 months. The public announcement, or what I call “forced accountability,” will motivate you to be more consistent in your training so you hit your goal.

3: Social Proof / Validation¶

• Social proof is what a lot of us would refer to as peer pressure, but I think it’s closer to herd behavior.

Read Robert Greene's TDL 07-07 - Appear to Be an Object of Desire PDF

This rule applies especially to the way we decide what constitutes correct behavior. We view a behavior as more correct in a given situation to the degree that we see others performing it. Basically, everyone else is doing it, so I’ll do it too.

Social proof is the idea that we follow the actions of others, assuming these actions are the correct ones. This tendency is used in various contexts, from canned laughter in TV shows to marketing strategies highlighting “best sellers” or bartenders salting their tip jars to encourage tipping.

Historically, social proof has always been influential, as seen in the 1820s with Sauton and Porcher’s business of providing paid applause at operas. Today, the most effective endorsements often come from ordinary people rather than celebrities, as they are more relatable. While social proof can be a helpful shortcut, being wary of manipulated evidence is crucial. Awareness of such manipulation empowers people to ignore or even oppose it.

Cialdini emphasizes the importance of not living on “autopilot” and suggests making conscious decisions to counteract misleading social proof. He advises being alert to counterfeit social evidence and acting against its exploitation, such as avoiding products with deceptive advertising.

Additionally, Cialdini warns against the infallibility of social proof. Considering the big picture, aligning social proof with objective facts, personal experiences, and intuition is essential. For example, drivers following others on highways can lead to accidents, demonstrating the potential negative consequences of social proof.

The best defense is to assess whether opinions are based on accurate data and to seek dissenting voices, reminding ourselves that influencers often highlight positive feedback while ignoring negative responses. Thus, considering all available evidence, a balanced view is crucial for sound decision-making.

Examples¶

• Salespeople love to tell their customers of their “most-popular” or “fastest-selling” product because they understand the power of social proof: “if this product is selling so much, it must be because it’s good.”
• You’re at a bar and your 4 friends order margaritas, so you do the same.
• You start wearing your jeans really low because all your friends are doing it.
• You laugh at a joke because your friends are laughing, but you don’t even get it.
• You see everyone else staring up at the sky, so you look up too (works every time).

4: Liking¶

• We prefer to say yes to the requests of people we know and like.

It’s easier to say “yes” to somebody we like and whom we can relate to. So a salesman, in order to increase his sales, and convert people from a “no” to a yes” — needs to gain the hearts of his prospects. And they do this by building rapport.

For twelve years straight, Joe Girard won the award of “#1 Car Salesman” by Guinness World Record. He averaged more than five vehicles sold everyday, making over USD200,000 per year.

His secret? “Finding the salesman they like, plus the price; put them both together, and you get a deal.”

The Tupperware party model exemplifies the principle of liking, where sales thrive on the product’s merits and the hostess’s social ties and likability. Tupperware’s success, achieving sales of $2.5 million daily without physical stores, hinges on leveraging social relationships and the principles of reciprocity, social proof, and commitment.

Likability influences even when the person is absent, as seen in referral-based sales, where rejecting the salesperson can feel like rejecting a friend. The factors contributing to likability include physical attractiveness, similarity, compliments, and association with positive or negative experiences.

A successful car salesman, Joe Girard, attributed his success to offering a fair price and being a likable salesperson. He maintained contact with customers through monthly greeting cards, reinforcing his likability. Cialdini points out that even though this approach may seem impersonal, it effectively harnesses the human tendency to respond positively to flattery and likability.

To resist being unduly influenced by likability, Cialdini advises recognizing when you like someone more than usual and separating the person’s likability from the product or service they offer. Instead, focus on the product’s merits rather than the appeal of the person selling it, as this approach helps to make decisions based on facts rather than emotions.

Factors that cause one person to like another person?¶

1. Physical Attractiveness. Whether it's fair, just, proper, right or not, it is what it is. People tend to like those who are attractive, or at a minimum take care of themseleves (well groomed and well dressed). Studies show that attractive people receive more help from both opposite genders and people with the same gender. As awful as this sounds, you can use that to your benefit. By getting a fresh haircut, clean shave (or trim), wearing business clothing, smelling good, etc., you’re instantly making yourself more attractive and are more likely to get a “yes” rather than a “no.”

2. Similarity. We like people who are similar to us, whether it’s sharing opinions, personality traits, background, lifestyle, etc. A good example are the cliques that form in high school: athletes, nerds, band geeks, etc. — everyone found a group they associated with the most. And if you were a total social outcast, you probably associated with other outcasts. Remember, "people like like people."

3. Compliments. We generally love getting compliments, even if they’re not true. Of course, YOU wouldn’t fall for it. I mean, you’re incredibly smart and fun to be around. Did I mention the fact that you’re insanely good-looking? Yes, YOU!!

4. Contact. We like things that are familiar to us. On the other hand, we often fear what we don’t know.

5. Cooperation. Cooperation works a little differently. We also like people who work with us, instead of against us. Working together towards a common goal and being “on the same side” are very powerful.

6. Conditioning & Association. The principle of Association is a general one, governing both negative and positive connections. An innocent association with either bad things or good things will influence how people feel about us.

“All things being equal, you root for your own sex, your own culture, your own locality…and what you want to prove is that YOU are better than the other person. Whomever you root for represents YOU; and when he wins, YOU win.” — Isaac Asimov

5: Authority¶

• People tend to follow authority figures. We are taught from a very young age that obedience to authority is right and disobedience is wrong.

In sales, being well groomed, wearing a suit, and having a nice breath isn’t only to get people to like us (Rule of Liking). It’s also to look like a figure of authority — a force to be reckoned with.

If you want to earn your prospect’s trust, you have to look and sound like you know what the hell you’re talking about — like somebody who’s qualified to give advice and suggestions.

From early on, people are conditioned to obey authority figures, such as parents, teachers, and religious leaders. While often helpful, this automatic obedience to authority can lead to mindless compliance, even when it might not be appropriate.

Cialdini highlights the influence of perceived authority in various contexts. For instance, doctors are often obeyed unquestioningly due to their expertise in health matters, which can sometimes lead to medical errors. Advertisers also exploit this by using actors who play doctors on TV, as seen in the successful Sanka coffee commercials featuring actor Robert Young.

Symbols of authority in modern society include titles (like doctor or professor), clothes (such as police uniforms or priests’ robes), and trappings (like expensive clothing or cars). These symbols can significantly influence how people react and make decisions.

To guard against the undue influence of authority, Cialdini advises skepticism and critical thinking. He suggests asking whether the authority is genuinely an expert and whether they have a hidden agenda or potential bias. This approach helps evaluate the credibility and impartiality of the information authority figures provide.

Cialdini also describes how authority can be subtly used in everyday situations, like dining out. He gives an example of waiters in high-end restaurants who use their perceived authority to recommend more expensive dishes, thereby increasing their tips.

By appearing to offer insider information and acting against their employer’s interests, waiters gain the trust of diners, leading to larger orders and higher tips. This tactic cleverly combines authority and reciprocity, illustrating how authority can be a potent tool in influencing behavior.

Examples¶

• Policemen, firemen, clergy, office managers, etc.
• Titles (PhD, Esq, MBA, etc.)
• The way people are dressed (Ex: 3-piece suit vs. tank top and board shorts). Con artists exploit this rule all the time, like Leonardo DiCaprio in “Catch Me If You Can.”
• In Advertising, we see this principle at play in celebrity endorsements.

6: Scarcity¶

• Opportunities seem more valuable to us when their availability is limited. Fans of behavioral economists may see how this ties into the concept of Loss Aversion — the fear of loss is always greater than the desire for gain.

Ahhh scarcity. Probably the most well-known and effective weapon of influence.

Have you ever wondered why fancy restaurants have such small plates? Shouldn’t you get a bigger plate especially when you pay more? Well, because of Scarcity, food actually tastes better when there isn’t so many bites to take from the meal. You savour it more and really put your palette to work when there’s only three bites to take from the meal.

Scarcity creates a sense of urgency and desire for an item, often leading to irrational decisions. Cialdini explains that the potential loss of an opportunity often motivates people more than the potential gain, a concept widely used in marketing and sales.

Scarcity can be created in various ways, such as emphasizing the rarity of an item, its limited availability, or unique flaws. Sales tactics often exploit scarcity, like an appliance salesman creating urgency by suggesting the last available model has just been sold. Customers, fearing the loss of the opportunity, are more inclined to commit to a purchase.

Deadline tactics are another common scarcity approach, creating a time-limited opportunity that prompts impulsive buying decisions. Cialdini also notes the ironic increase in the perceived value of items when they become scarce due to restrictions, such as the demand for phosphate-based cleaners in Dade County after they were banned.

To resist the influence of scarcity, Cialdini advises a two-stage approach. First, recognize the emotional arousal caused by scarcity and pause to regain a rational perspective. Second, question why you want the item. If it’s for ownership rather than utility, be cautious. Remember, an item’s functionality remains the same regardless of its scarcity.

Cialdini also explains how scarcity can be used effectively in sales, such as creating a competitive environment among potential buyers. However, he cautions against allowing our decision-making to be solely influenced by scarcity, as it can lead to mistakes when manipulated by others. In our fast-paced world, being aware of and resisting manipulative uses of scarcity is crucial for making sound decisions.

Examples¶

• Limited time offers — A certain product is in short supply that cannot be guaranteed to last long (like Missoni at Target several months ago or Tickle Me Elmo several years ago).
• Deadlines — An official time limit is placed on the customer’s opportunity to get the offer. Black Friday and Cyber Monday are great examples.
• Another variant of the deadline tactic is when you’re told that you have to buy NOW or the price will go up very soon (Ex: health club memberships, buying a car, etc.).